WORCESTER — When she penned her own obituary, Virginia "Ginger" (Grant) Navickas, left out a lot, her friends said after reading it.

The 76-year-old, who died July 5 from leukemia, never mentioned how much she loved to dance with unadulterated joy, lighting up the room. She didn't write about any of the awards bestowed upon her for her work with women, domestic violence victims and children.

She mentioned the important things: Her beloved daughter and grandchildren, her dear friends, the partner with whom she danced for hours shortly before that last trip to Dana Farber Cancer Institute, her siblings.

"It was so modest," her friend Juliet Feibel, the executive director at ArtsWorcester said.

"She missed a ton of stuff that she did," Linda Cavaioli, who worked with Navickas at the YWCA, said of the final tribute.

"It was so Ginger," her friends all agreed.

Navickas had battled cancer before and while the effects weren't noticeable for much of the time, a few months ago things became more serious. She was admitted to Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, decided she would stop treatment and spent some of her last days saying goodbyes and rallying friends to continue her work.

Roe v Wade response

Cavaioli said the last phone call with her friend was a goodbye of sorts but amongst the sentimental words were orders handed down from the woman who always took charge and got things done. Now, she was passing the torch.

"The day Roe versus Wade went down, she gave me my orders," Cavaioli recalled.

For the women on the other end of Navickas' last calls, there were a variety of emotions and for some there were instructions about how to carry on.

She had been an advocate for death with dignity legislation that has never passed and she was a hospice volunteer so she knew what needed to be done. When she spoke to her friend Shelley Rodman, she was surprisingly "bright and lucid" because the medications allowed her pain to be managed and her mind to be clear, Rodman said.

"I've never had a phone call like that," Rodman said. "She said, 'I expect to die within one to three days,' which she didn't, and she said, 'I love you and I'm proud of what we've accomplished.'"

Navickas comforted Rodman, too, when the tears came. Later, Rodman learned that she had been given an assignment: to speak, briefly, at a celebration of Navickas' life at 1 p.m., Thursday at First Unitarian Church, 90 Main St., Worcester.

Part of her remarks will include, at her friend's request, a quote from Maya Angelou: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

"And there's a call to action," Rodman said.

Many of her friends start the stories of their relationships with Navickas at the YWCA because they were pulled in to her circle there. Navickas herself first went to the "Y-Dub," as her friends call it, seeking a program where her young daughter could interact with other children and she could connect with other mothers.

She started the Creative Play Program at the Y and eventually worked her way up until she was running the place. Over the years there were so many accomplishments: Merging with Daybreak and providing a safe space for women in domestic violence situations, creating the Worcester Intervention Network, which was a model for the state and working with city police on domestic violence initiatives. 

The women around her jumped in to help, likely because they saw Navickas roll up her sleeves time and time again, never grumbling or complaining, when she saw a need.

Reviving League of Women Voters

Several years ago, she noticed that the Worcester Area League of Women Voters had become sort of quiet. She stepped up, recruited women and helped get the organization active again, friends said.

Even as she neared the end of her life, Navickas packed up everything, tablecloths, name tag gear, a list of telephone numbers, all needed for the League's annual meeting — the first since the pandemic and which she had set up but couldn't attend.

While Navickas was a feminist and role model for women, fighting for their rights, she was also a doting mother whose world revolved around her daughter, Tiffany, friends said.

Feibel said Navickas helped her to be a better parent.

"She showed me the way to be a mother to a daughter," she said. "That it doesn't have to be a relationship that's fraught … that you can have pride and joy in your daughter."

In their last conversation, Navickas talked with Feibel and told her not to worry. That was her way, Feibel said, showing concern for others even as her days waned.

Feibel said that after Navickas retired, she came by three times a week to visit and volunteer at ArtsWorcester. It was a place where another of her voices for the city where she was born and raised was heard.

Creating communities

Navickas was a woman with "verve, style and a wicked sense of humor" — she laughed a lot and she created communities wherever they were needed, Feibel said.

In 2017, when the Worcester Women's Oral History Project recorded interviews with females from the city in four areas — work, education, health and politics — Navickas was one of those who told her story.

She spoke of living through so many changes and increased inclusiveness and how that thrilled her.

But as she lived through those time, she touched so many lives.

For Rodman, she was the guide for navigating cancer. When Rodman was diagnosed with breast cancer, Navickas promised to be there, to answer her questions and to help in any way she could.

"Ginger also helped me find my path, after retirement, she got me involved with CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates for children) and Planned Parenthood," Rodman said. "She was a sounding board and when I was frustrated, she would say, 'That's why you have to continue.'"

The women from Navickas' inner circle said there are thousands of people in Worcester whose lives were made better by the things she did and most have no idea. They believe her work saved the lives of domestic violence victims who were shepherded to safety through programs she created or enhanced.

And while they are grieving and sad, they are also motivated to be sure that the work their friend started continues on in her memory.