It has been an exceedingly difficult time for all of us over the past year. We have experienced a lot—COVID-19 isolation, political turmoil, government mistrust, the rise in hate crimes, institutional racism, and a lack of empathy for anyone who is different in appearance, culture, thought, or political party. It takes virtually nothing more than a random comment or sound bite to start new fights, baseless conspiracy theories, or oppositional actions. No longer is it the norm to get into a serious but cordial debate.

When was the last time we participated in a conversation where we really listened to what the other person had to say? When was the last time that we said to that person, “I don’t agree with your position, but I will think about it for a bit”? When was the last time we followed up with the person (often a family member) to discuss what we learned about that person’s position and why we may or may not agree? When was the last time we told someone with a different point of view that we appreciate the candor and trust demonstrated by sharing these thoughts or positions? When was the last time we looked at someone and saw them as a person first, without noticing their physical or cultural differences? When was the last time we looked at someone and were not afraid?

I am guilty as charged more often than I like to admit. I am human just like everyone else, and sometimes I forget that I can hurt people without being aware of it. I am guilty of talking to people and not listening. I am guilty of thinking that I am smarter and better informed than everyone who disagrees with me—not because I am or because it is true, but because it’s easy. I do not have to second-guess myself. I do not have to question whether what I have learned and the actions I take are right. It is difficult to adjust to new facts that may rattle my beliefs. It is difficult to admit to myself that I was or could be wrong. It is difficult to let anyone see that I am not perfect. What will others think? I now realize that it does not matter what others think of me, but it does matter what I think about others. I cannot be fair and honest with people, and I cannot be respectful, if I do not engage them as individuals with their own experiences and perspectives.

This poem, composed by P.A.Z., sums it up for me.

—L. Peter Zavala